I don’t cry easily. I’m tempted to give a (nervous) chuckle and say it’s a ‘man thing.’ But, of course, we both know that’s not the whole of it. Perhaps in another blog post I can explore all the reasons, but this much I know: somewhere I bought into the lie that emotions are a danger to faith. I’ve hardened.
This past Sunday in worship, during a time in which I too often am thinking about what I’m going to say, detached from the moment wondering how I will ‘open’ the sermon, I was overwhelmed by emotion. I surrendered.
Two couples in our church lost babies last week, I had just found out about the second that morning. I stood in the midst the community and we sang these words:
Blessed be Your name On the road marked with suffering Though there’s pain in the offering Blessed be Your name … You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be your name.
Two things happened. The first is that I cried because God had “taken away,” and allowed such suffering, and I hurt deeply for my friends. Then, the second thing: I looked across the worshiping community and I saw a person living with a terminal disease clapping and smiling and genuinely rejoicing in those words, and another person who deals with chronic pain similarly adoring God. They were singing the same words I was. We were in very different places.
And I realized something of the power of Christian worship Sunday morning. God’s promise to meet with us in our gatherings in Jesus’ name is specific and particular and unique to every individual. It is not a generic, one-size-fits-all message that waits for us in worship; it is the word of God, exactly what we need. My lament and anger with God was not at odds with the praise and adoration of those other two individuals, it was in harmony with them. Collectively, our voices were recognizing God as sovereign and merciful and mysterious all at once.
It was a powerful moment and as is often the case with times like that, I probably won’t realize the full impact for some time. But my initial impression is that God was at work and God allowed me to experience him a bit more than I ever have. May I not take for granted the incredible promise of God’s presence in worship ever again.
Related posts:
- Thinking About ‘The Screen’ in Worship
- Authenticity and Hypocrisy from the “Pulpit”
- Prayer for the Week: Suffering
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